## **Learning Outcomes**

After working through this article, you will confidently craft effective introductions that hook the reader and establish your stance, write decisive conclusions that reinforce your argument, and maintain a persuasive tone throughout your response (AO5/AO6). You will be able to use a range of opening techniques, avoid common conclusion errors, and calibrate your tone to suit the audience and purpose. These skills frame your entire Section B response and directly affect marks for both content and organisation.

## **AQA GCSE English Language 8700 Syllabus**

For AQA GCSE English Language 8700, this article helps you:

- Communicate clearly, effectively, and imaginatively, selecting and adapting tone, style, and register for different purposes and audiences (AO5 — 24 marks)
- Organise information and ideas using structural and grammatical features to support coherence (AO5)
- Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for clarity, purpose, and effect (AO6 — 16 marks)
- Demonstrate control of persuasive writing techniques across a sustained response (AO5/AO6)

## **Test Your Knowledge**

_Attempt these questions before reading this article. If you find some difficult or cannot remember the answers, remember to look more closely at that area during your revision._

1. What two things should a strong introduction achieve in the first paragraph?
2. True or false: A conclusion should introduce a new argument to end on a strong note.
3. What is the difference between a confident persuasive tone and an aggressive tone?
4. Name two techniques you could use to open a transactional writing response.

## **Introduction**

The introduction and conclusion are the two paragraphs the examiner reads most carefully. The introduction establishes your stance, sets the tone, and determines the reader's first impression. The conclusion reinforces your argument and leaves a lasting impact. Between them, persuasive tone acts as the thread that holds the entire response together, maintaining the reader's engagement and trust from first sentence to last.

The AO5 mark scheme at Level 4 requires "compelling" and "convincing" writing. This begins with an opening that commands attention and ends with a conclusion that feels inevitable — as though the argument could not have led anywhere else.

> **Key Term: introduction**
> The opening paragraph of a transactional writing response. Its purpose is to establish the writer's viewpoint, engage the reader, and set the tone for the argument that follows.
>
> **Key Term: conclusion**
> The final paragraph of a transactional writing response. Its purpose is to reinforce the argument, leave a lasting impression, and provide a sense of closure without introducing new material.
>
> **Key Term: persuasive tone**
> The confident, purposeful voice a writer adopts to convince the reader. Persuasive tone is created through word choice, sentence structure, direct address, and rhetorical techniques.

## Crafting Effective Introductions (AO5/AO6)

A strong introduction does two things: it hooks the reader and it establishes the writer's stance. The examiner should know your position by the end of the first paragraph.

Effective opening techniques include:

- _Bold statement_ — a confident, provocative claim that demands attention ("It is time to stop pretending that our education system is fit for purpose.")
- _Rhetorical question_ — a question that challenges the reader to think ("How many more young people must suffer before we take action?")
- _Startling fact or statistic_ — a piece of evidence that shocks or surprises ("Every year, over two million tonnes of food are thrown away by UK schools alone.")
- _Anecdote or scenario_ — a brief, vivid story that makes the issue personal ("Imagine walking into your local park to find it fenced off, padlocked, and marked for demolition.")
- _Direct address_ — speaking to the audience to create connection ("You have the power to change this — and today, I am going to show you how.")

The best introductions combine two or more of these techniques. A bold statement followed by a rhetorical question, or an anecdote that leads into a startling fact, creates a layered opening that engages on multiple levels.

### **Worked Example 1.1**

Three different introduction openings for the task: "Write a speech to your local council arguing that more green spaces are needed in your area."

Opening A: "Ladies and gentlemen, our town is suffocating. Where children once played, there are car parks. Where trees once stood, there are concrete walls. We are losing our green spaces, and with them, we are losing our quality of life."

Opening B: "Did you know that access to green space reduces stress by up to 30%? Yet in our borough, the amount of public parkland has halved in the last decade. This is not just an environmental issue — it is a public health crisis."

Opening C: "Last week, I watched a group of children playing football on a patch of gravel next to a busy road. There was nowhere else for them to go. That image should trouble every person in this room."

> **Answer:**
>
> All three openings are effective but use different techniques. Opening A uses direct address, a bold metaphor ('suffocating'), and a tricolon of contrasts to create emotional impact. Opening B leads with a startling statistic and reframes the issue as a health crisis, appealing to logic. Opening C uses an anecdote to make the issue personal and immediate, ending with a direct challenge to the audience. Each establishes the stance clearly — more green spaces are needed — and each hooks the reader through a different appeal. The strongest choice depends on the audience: a council may respond best to the factual approach of B, while a public audience might be moved by the anecdote in C.

### **Exam Warning**

> Do not waste your opening on vague, generic statements like "In this essay I will discuss..." or "There are many views on this topic." These delay your argument and bore the reader. Start with impact: a bold claim, a vivid image, or a challenging question.

## Writing Decisive Conclusions (AO5/AO6)

A strong conclusion reinforces your argument without repeating it word for word. It should feel like the natural end point of your reasoning — a destination, not a sudden stop.

Effective conclusion techniques include:

- _Echo the opening_ — return to the image, question, or statement from your introduction to create a sense of completeness
- _Call to action_ — tell the audience what they should do ("Vote for change. Demand better. Refuse to accept the status quo.")
- _Look to the future_ — project what will happen if your argument is followed, or what will happen if it is ignored
- _Emotional appeal_ — end with a powerful image or statement that stays with the reader
- _Summarise in new words_ — restate your key message using different language to avoid repetition

The most important rule: do not introduce new arguments in your conclusion. A new point in the final paragraph suggests you forgot to include it earlier, and it cannot be developed properly. Your conclusion should close the argument, not open a new one.

### **Worked Example 1.2**

A weak conclusion and a strong conclusion for an essay about school uniform:

Weak: "In conclusion, school uniform is bad because it is boring and students do not like it. Also, it is expensive and some families cannot afford it, which is another reason why it should be abolished."

Strong: "The evidence is clear: school uniform does not improve behaviour, does not raise standards, and does not create equality. What it does create is conformity for its own sake. If we truly value individuality and self-expression — as every school mission statement claims to — then it is time to let students dress as themselves."

> **Answer:**
>
> The weak conclusion introduces a new argument about cost ('Also, it is expensive') that has not been developed in the body, uses vague language ('bad,' 'boring'), and ends without impact. The strong conclusion uses a tricolon to summarise the argument in new words, introduces a sharp contrast ('What it does create'), and closes with a challenge that echoes the concept of individuality. The final phrase 'dress as themselves' is memorable and emotionally resonant. The strong conclusion feels decisive; the weak one feels unfinished.

## Maintaining Persuasive Tone Throughout (AO5/AO6)

Persuasive tone is not something you switch on for the introduction and conclusion — it must run through every paragraph. A response that starts confidently but drifts into uncertainty or aggression will lose marks for consistency.

Key elements of persuasive tone:

- _Confident language_ — state your points as assertions, not apologies ("This must change" rather than "I sort of think maybe this could change")
- _Direct address_ — use "you" and "we" to involve the reader and create a sense of shared purpose
- _Controlled emotion_ — passion is effective, but aggression is not. "This situation is unacceptable" is persuasive; "This is absolutely disgusting and anyone who disagrees is an idiot" is not
- _Consistent register_ — maintain the same level of formality from first paragraph to last. A sudden shift to slang or sarcasm undermines the authority you have built

Tone drift is the most common problem. This happens when a writer starts formally but becomes increasingly casual, or when frustration creeps in and the tone shifts from reasoned argument to angry ranting. Re-reading your work with tone in mind during proofreading helps catch these shifts.

### **Worked Example 1.3**

A paragraph that loses persuasive tone mid-way:

Original: "The lack of investment in public transport is a serious issue that affects thousands of commuters daily. Honestly, it is a joke. The buses are rubbish, the trains are always late, and nobody in charge seems to give a toss about the people who actually use them."

> **Answer (corrected version):**
>
> "The lack of investment in public transport is a serious issue that affects thousands of commuters daily. Services are unreliable, overcrowded, and deteriorating, yet fares continue to rise. Those responsible for managing our transport network appear indifferent to the frustration of the passengers who fund it."
>
> The original starts with a formal, measured tone but shifts sharply into colloquial language ('a joke,' 'rubbish,' 'give a toss'). This undermines the writer's authority and makes the argument sound like a complaint rather than a reasoned case for change. The corrected version maintains the critical stance — the frustration is still clear — but expresses it through controlled, formal language that the audience will take seriously. 'Appear indifferent' is more damning than 'don't give a toss' precisely because it is measured.

### **Revision Tip**

> Plan your opening and closing sentences before you write the body. If you know where your argument starts and where it ends, the middle paragraphs will feel more purposeful and controlled. This also prevents the conclusion from feeling rushed if you run short on time.

## **Summary**

Introductions and conclusions frame your entire Section B response. A strong introduction hooks the reader and establishes your stance using techniques such as bold statements, rhetorical questions, or anecdotes. A strong conclusion reinforces your argument without repeating it, using techniques such as echoing the opening, issuing a call to action, or looking to the future. Between them, persuasive tone — confident, controlled, and consistent — holds the response together and demonstrates the sustained quality that the mark scheme rewards at the highest levels.

## **Key Point Checklist**

_This article has covered the following key knowledge points:_

- Craft introductions that hook the reader and establish your stance immediately
- Use a range of opening techniques: bold statement, rhetorical question, statistic, anecdote, direct address
- Write conclusions that reinforce your argument without introducing new material
- Avoid vague, generic openings and weak, repetitive closings
- Maintain a confident, controlled persuasive tone consistently from first paragraph to last
- Identify and correct tone drift in your own writing

## **Key Terms and Concepts**

- introduction
- conclusion
- persuasive tone
- hook
- bold statement
- rhetorical question
- call to action
- direct address
- tone drift
- register


Style and technical accuracy (transactional writing) - Introductions, conclusions, and persuasive tone